I have a terrible habit of getting extremely lonely after someone seemingly spontaneously leaves while we have been hanging out.
I shouldn’t be upset nor really should I feel this bad… I don’t know what it is.
Maybe my fear of rejection, or abandonment issues, possibly the fear that I’m not as significant as I hope to be.
I’m disgustingly needy. It’s terrible.
So my birthday is in a month. I’ve decided that instead of the typical “omg 23 more days till my birthday!” countdown, I’m going to do something more productive than that. My goal is to do something awesome/better for myself everyday until I am [old].
So for today’s betterment I am closing off communication with the ginger. I am giving him back everything he’s gotten me (that I can remember); deleting him and his friends from Facebook, except one friend who actually acted like my friend when we weren’t together; and moving on.
He is not worth the time, words, or the hurt. It’s kinda like the Keith Urban song, or any other country song really. Tomorrow I start OU and dammit I’m not taking that baggage with me.
I need to invest in a radio for my room. I need to drown this out and dance for me.
Anyway, [GINGER] is ridiculous to begin with and let me tell you why:
1. Any guy who has the nerve to throw you into a topsy-turvy swing of emotional distress needs to have his nuts crushed by an adult silverback gorilla and have him sent back home to his mom.
2. You are WAY too attractive and smart to deal with this shit that he makes you deal with and even I see that.
3. No, you are not yourself. You haven't been yourself for like the past year that I've known you. Regardless of how YOU think, I personally don't recognize the Nina I grew so fond of.
4. This is obviously causing you way too much stress over one single guy and that's just it, he is just ONE guy Nina. One of MILLIONS out there that would be dying for a chance, but you won't let them nor even pay attention to them because you are so wrapped around [GINGER]'s finger. He says jump and you ask, "How high?". Nina, even though I truly admire your love and respect for this boy, I can't STAND to see you like this. One day sad, one day happy, one week morbidly depressed, and one day completely ecstatic. There has to be balance. Resolve.
5. I know you like him. I know you care about him, but some people just can't be pleased regardless of how much you bend to their will, wants, needs, and desires. A relationship is a two-hinged door, to go out and in, to give and receive equally and not more than the other.
6. I'm tired of typing numbers out and my mind ran out of reasons so it makes me feel better to make it seem like I'm typing something important.
I didn’t think I needed this advice, but maybe I do. I’m very externally motivated, so I ask for a lot of input from my dear friends. I also tend to volunteer my opinion a lot. But I had two separate situations today, one where I was the friend in my friend’s relationship with his girl, and the other where my man’s homegirl was saying some stuff about us. One situation ended up just fine, the other has some unresolved tension, so I guess that’s just hit and miss.
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
It’s night right now. There’s something else you should be doing right now. You are lactose intolerant.There’s a nearby TV on.You get along with your neighbors.Twilight is a horrible series. You’re hungry right now. You have worked out today. Running a mile sounds awful. You have a job. You love to bake Christmas cookies. Your parents are still together. You woke up before 11 this morning. Baths are better than showers. You hate British accents. Cats are better than dogs. The 90’s sucked. Your cell phone is right next to you. Your favorite color is either blue or purple.Your hair is short. You are by yourself right now. The last thing you drank was water. You’re in your PJs right now. Your hair color is natural. Video games are awesome. Fred from YouTube is annoying. There’s at least $20 in your wallet. You don’t drink soda. It’s cold out. Orange juice is better than apple juice.Your sheets are white. You love someone right now. You’ve been professionally diagnosed with a psychological disorder. You have read works by Shakespeare before. You know someone in the hospital right now. Chocolate is better than vanilla. You know someone who has beaten cancer. You’re allergic to peanuts. You’ve never been on a varsity sports team. School is too early. Your friends do drugs. You’ve showered today. You’ve never been to New York City. You want to go to Europe. Plastic surgery is a good idea. Sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear. Vanilla is the best scent a girl can wear. You’ve made yourself throw up. You’re Italian. You have a tan right now. You bite your nails. You shop in plus sized clothing stores. Hot Topic is scary. You’re using a laptop right now. You’ve been on a diet before. You’ve used a hair straightener. There are socks on your feet right now. You’re in Verizon’s network. Shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store.Your BMI falls into the overweight category. Cheesecake is delicious.Your birthday is within the next 2 months. You’ve gotten your hair cut in the past month. You’ve been rejected.You love Greek food. Comedies are better than action films. You are fluent in more than one language. You have more than 3 pillows on your bed. You consider yourself a picky eater. You’re happy right now. You are a high school graduate. You are in a relationship. You live with at least one parent. You were born before April 5th, 1991. You have a pet cat.You are in a relationship.You have brown hair. You can count to 20 in another language.You have studied a foreign language. You voted in the 2008 presidential election. You own a vehicle that is older than a 2004. You have worked in a fast food restaurant. You have worked 3rd shift. You drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today. You live in New Jersey. Your middle name begins with a ‘C’. You live in Pennsylvania. Your last name begins with an ‘M’. Your first name begins with an ‘S’. You live in Montana. You are younger than 16. You are an only child. Your parents are not married, but together. You have more than one sibling. You are a vegetarian. You have a gym membership. You are in the military. You have a relative in the military. You are older than 19. You have been to Mexico. You have been to Europe. You have been to Canada. You have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t. You have braces. You wear contact lenses. You have a tattoo on your ankle. You are currently enrolled in college/university. You have a tattoo on your wrist. You have a tattoo on your lower back. You have a lip piercing.You have a tattoo on your upper arm. You have your nipples pierced. You have a tongue piercing. You have wavy hair.You are engaged. You have your cartilage pierced. You are married. You are an aunt or uncle. Your bedroom walls are blue. Your bedspread is red. You have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week. You have children. You have lost your virginity before you turned 15. You are bisexual. You have been intoxicated in the last 24 hours. You watch Scrubs. You watch Jon & Kate Plus 8.You have cursed in front of your grandparents. You have been to the movies within the last month. You had a lunch box with a cartoon character on it when you were little. You actually pay attention to politics. You have kissed someone within the last week. You watch American Idol. You were hugged today. One of your best friends is the opposite sex. You have paid more than $100 on one item of clothing. You had a date to prom. You are always on time. You have done something illegal within the last 24 hours. You have ridden an elevator within the last 3 days. You have kissed three or more people in the past year. You have spent the night at someone else’s house within the last 2 weeks.You like Chinese food. You like Italian food. You like Mexican food. You like hip hop. You like rap. You like punk rock. You like hard rock. You like metal. You like classic rock. You like blue grass. You like oldies. You like techno. You like instrumental music. You know someone younger than 10 that passed away. You have been out of the country within the last year. You have had stitches. You are Christian.You are a Buddhist. You are Mormon. You are Agnostic.You have been to a cemetery at midnight. You have a parent who/was a teacher. You would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show.You have been in a car wreck. You have a savings account. You have dated someone who is 2 years older than you. You have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored.You have been cheated on. You wish on 11:11. You have had your current job for more than 3 months. You have broken up with someone for someone else.You broke someone else’s heart. You felt bad about it. You have had your heart broken.You have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to. You have stayed up for 48 hours straight. You have been to walmart in the past 3 days. You have been a pumpkin for Halloween. You have been a vampire for Halloween.You own a pair of scrubs. You own a cowboy hat. You own a leather coat. You are missing someone right now. You have been let down recently. You would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship. You have met someone famous. You have had someone you thought you could trust betray you..